The Moment Before It All Changes…

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July is coming to an end which means there is only one month separating me from September. I hate to add to the resounding broken-mom-record, but boy is it true…time just flies by. It seriously feels like a week ago that we bought Ben a back-pack in preparation for Kindergarten and now that first, very special year, is over. Deep breaths.

In just sixish weeks my daughter will be joining him on this new journey of school and it will be her turn to experience all the newness of school-life. And I can only imagine, this time next year I will be back on this computer typing out another blog post about how quickly it all started and ended.

The anticipation of September has been weighing on my mind for months now. I will have both my babies in school. And I will have no more babies at home. I very much wish I had more kids at home, but the good Lord has a different plan, at least for now. That much is clear. But for the last 6 years, my life has consisted of nothing else but taking care of my small kids. They were never in daycare or pre-school, they have always been with me.

I’m going to miss those sweet faces and all the time we had together. It has truly been a huge blessing to be able to stay home with them.

But now I ask myself the question, now what?

And that question has wrung loud in my ears for weeks. I hear it from friends and family who still have kids at home…”what are you going to do all day?” and I’ve had to answer “I don’t know”. I feel exactly the way their faces look…slightly disgusted, like…what am I gonna do with myself?

Yesterday I had tea with a delightful woman from my church and she warned me of the perception out there people have of stay-at-home moms of kids in school. She has been one and now that her kids are young adults, she had much wisdom to share with me about how not to live in the expectations of others. She related with the question that has been ringing in my ears for months now…

Who am I, if I’m not a mom with littles at home with me?

But this is that precious moment before everything changes.

Sure I have a few weeks until the change officially takes place, but as I was just saying, we all know how quickly time can sprint past us. And I do believe the Lord has been preparing me. I sense fears being over-powered by optimism. I am beginning to anticipate that this new season (however long it lasts) will be precious and important. And here’s why.

In the last 4 years in particular our family has experienced a few things that have taken some…adjusting to. We have been on a path of discovery in terms of our kids development and the challenges that come with that. And we have left one church for another, and then from that church to another.

We are still adjusting to all this.

But this amazing free-time I will be given gives me the blessing of volunteering in my kids classes weekly. I will be able to be apart of their education in a way I’ve always wanted to be. With their unique challenges this gives me huge relief! Also I will be volunteering for my church in probably many different facets. Which also makes me so excited!

And just like that, my free time is no longer free.

Really, it was never free to begin with. My time is the Lords and it is my personal duty to fill it with things that will honor Him. Whatever I do, I cannot forget that very real and serious truth.

If the Lord see’s fit that I find a job and become a working mom (which seems to be what everyone thinks is the most acceptable thing to do), that will be fine by me. But I refuse to do any work that encroaches on being there for my family and our desire to live simply. And certainly if Jesus provides more children to raise, I will accept it gratefully.

And for however long God allows me to be a stay-at-home mom with children in school, I will not squander my time. I feel a vigor and excitement for this gift I’m being given.

It’s all about to change. And I am slowly finding my place in all of it. It is strange and new and scary.

But bring it on.

 

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Let Me Direct You Elsewhere…

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Their Respective Beheadings: Doug Wilson lays it down, in talking about Planned Parenthood. And in classic Wilson style, he pulls no punches.

10 Proposed Commandments For Christian Parenting: Yup, this is good! 1. Thou shall not worship thy children or their future. That future part is a tough one!

Senator Lankford Speaks About PP Video: As far as I’m concerned this man nails it on every level. It has a Wilberforce air to it. And he might as well of dropped the mic. Bravo!

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Let Me Direct You Elsewhere…

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Congratulating Planned Parenthood: First, it is the logical outcome of the chaotic notion of the self that now rules in the West. If the self is a psychologically self-determined identity, then those incapable of such are not persons until such time as they can do so.

Why We Are So Insulted: As women we ought to really take heed! This expression, weak women or gullible women, insults us. It is meant to. The phrase, literally translated “little women” or “small women,” was a term of contempt. Paul isn’t soft-pedaling the issue here.

How To Recover From An All-Nighter: As a mom these kinds of nights are more common than I’d like. And I am one of those people who really really needs sleep to function like a regular human. So I’ll have to remember this.

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Let Me Direct You Elsewhere…

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Six Ways Millennials Are Educating Their Churches Theologically: At least we are doing one thing right. But in my experience, I see this to be true.

How To Save Your Kid From Drowning: Of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. I’m not one to post a lot of these scary articles, but this quote startled me. And given the season, we should brush up on our safety skills.

3 Errors Of Musical Style That Stifle Community: Having served in three different churchs, I totally agree with this. It is amazing how important the role of the worship leader is. These are some great tips.

Rosaria Butterfield On Understanding And Loving Our Gay And Lesbian Friends: If you haven’t read her book The Secret Thoughts Of An Unlikely Convert you should. I always want to hear her on this topic.

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Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes…

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This post was originally written on July 11, 2013.

I remember the first time I noticed sin in my children. It was at about 8 months old. That moment after telling them not to do something…they look both ways…and then do it anyway.

Disobedience is rooted inside all of us. We are born with it. And at conversion we begin a long process of slow sanctification.

Before regeneration, as children it starts with slaps on the hand when we want to touch breakable or dangerous things. Then on to more serious discipline over lying, stealing, gossiping or attitude problems. We are tempted with sin of all kinds and fall into them without full knowledge of the bondage. And sometimes we are well aware of the danger and evil it represents but do it anyway. That is of course, until we get caught or think no one is watching.

I see this happen in my children. Watching them learn and grow is like a microcosm of how the human experience works.

In my presence they act out here and there (it’s a discipline heavy season), but for the most part they know there boundaries because they know without a doubt what I have deemed right for them to do. However when they think they are alone, things change. You know the saying…when the cats away the mice will play? When my kids are unaware of my disguised watching, the boy will hit the girl, the girl will touch breakable things and together they become mischievous little rule breakers.

But isn’t this kind of the way we all are? At work, at church, with family and friends we are Christians in every sense of the word. We tithe dutifully, we speak with kindness, we smile and say life is good. And yet most of us would be embarrassed to have the congregation watch without our knowledge at the way we are behind the safe doors of our home.

What if your pastor could look at your computer history? Or the kind of TV shows you watch? What if the elder board peered in on the way you speak to your spouse during an argument? Or the way you discipline the kids in a moment of frustration?

As the Sunday School song says…Oh, be careful little eyes what you see…Oh be careful little feet where you go…Oh, be careful little ears what you hear…

Truth is we are always being watched.

For the father up above is looking down in love…Oh, be careful little eyes what you see!

We have relentless eyes on us at all times even in our darkest moments. The only difference is this watcher is sinless and Holy. And yet somehow we are willing to do all manner of sinful things in His presence. And I believe it is because we do not fear Him.

Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling. ~ Psalm 2:11

Sin left to its own devices is a dangerous thing. And it is only done by the man who has no fear of a Holy and Just God. Obedience to Him comes from the fear of Him. And obedience will bring joy.

There are practical ways to not leave our sin to its one devices, such as being accountable to a small group of people, confessing sin and being in the habit of daily repentance. But none of those things will become integral to life unless we fear the living God. Fear Him in reverent love.

The good news though is that this Father up above looks at us in love. He watch’s as a loving Father desiring our good.

The Christian walk is a journey, and we are gospel people with the hope of Heaven given to us by Jesus’s sacrificial love. He is a good God who always does what is right. And He could strike us down like He did to Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11) and be Just in doing so. We certainly deserve it. But He doesn’t. That thought alone should bring us to fearful thankfulness. It is good news.

So serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling!

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Let Me Direct You Elsewhere…

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Inside Out – Lessons In Sadness, Sonship And Prodigals: Last Friday we took our kids to see the movie Inside Out and we were not disappointed. It covers lots of lovely concepts and it actually opened up a great dialogue (albeit simple one) with our kids that I hope will be ongoing. I like this guys thoughts on it.

You Are Not A Leader If You Never Say Sorry: Read this if you want your butt kicked. (ps – its good for us to get our butt kicked every now and then)

Brene Brown On Empathy: I’m not exactly sure why sympathy gets such a bad wrap in this explanation. By definition it isn’t negative. However I totally understand her illustration and how important it is for us get what true empathy is.

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Too Hot To Type…

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We are breaking all kinds of records in the heat department this year. How wonderful.

Its hot.

Summer has come with a bang and a blanket of hazy humidity. It’s as if God has got us in the inferno. I give, I give! Blah. July has just begun, there is still two more months of summer left, and I’m totally over it already.

So if you’ve been wondering, why the quiet blog? Well this is why. I am currently slow-cooking in high temperatures and there is no end in sight. It’s just too hot to type.

And for whatever reason this heat has left my brain extra sluggish and uninterested in…everything. The hamster is off the wheel and fanning himself in the corner. Hmmm, why is my brain-hamster male? See, these are the kind of intelligent thoughts my mind is only capable of creating (and it took me way too long to remember how to spell capable – so you get the point now).

The best I can do is re-blog some of my past posts and hope for a wind of inspiration coupled with the right amount of brain power to get it done.

So that is your update, and I sure hope you all are having a most wonderful summer. And hopefully none of you are quite as effected by the heat as I seem to be.

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