The rain is pounding the pavement at the moment. It’s getting darker outside. And much, much wetter as well.
My daughter has just poked her head into my room as I write and blew a New Years Eve gold and silver horn. She’s skipping over to my bed where our cat Maybe is sleeping peacefully. Her peace has officially been disturbed, as Lucy hugs her tightly and lays beside her.
Aside from this noisy moment the house has been quiet and pensive.
It’s 4:10pm and were all waiting for our friends to arrive so we can eat good food, drink good spirits and celebrate the years finish. The decades finish, actually.
I spent the day decorating the house with gold and silver and black New Years decorations, not because we’re having a big party (Only two people will be joining us four tonight) but because a little pomp and circumstance is needed in order to enjoy life. In my opinion.
2019 is officially coming to an end. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so painfully nostalgic and reflective this month. When a year ends its natural and normal to take stock, remember the big moments of the year and plan for the next. But when a decade ends, something else happens. We do all those same things, just with the weight of knowing 10 years of our lives has now passed us by.
It’s heavier.
Time – it’s burdensome. We all want more of it and yet it’s the thing that fleets the fastest and hurts the hardest.
The last 10 years have been spent in two worlds for me. In the throws of ministry from three different churches and in the dizzying experience of parenting young children. We’ve lost some family and we’ve gained some too. We’ve travelled, wrestled, laughed, fought, failed, graduated, cried, created and moved.
We’ve learned a lot and discovered how much more we have to learn.
Time has allowed many things and by God’s grace there is still much time to fill and make the most of. We can’t know much about what’s to come, but we can take guesses. The next 10 years will likely be some of the most important years of parenting – and maybe even ministering as well.
The next 10 will surely bring more tears, more loss and more change. I can only imagine the lack of sleep. Wrinkles and greys bought by anxiety and grief. Who else will we loose? What else will we fail at? I know there will be sin. I know there will be affliction. I know this for sure.
But there will have to be joy too. And laughter and forgiveness and battles won. There will be new lines in our skin created by smiles and belly laughs. Because as dramatic as teenagers are, they’re also rather funny. And I will have two of them. There will be new music to dance to and new books to feed the soul.
What more will we learn? Who else will become a good friend?
The fleet of time is most grievous when that time has been wasted. When we miss the moments that matter or avoid them all together. But when we embrace it and see everything in it’s time, the thought of it becomes easier to bare.
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Time ticks on but all within its own purpose.
Thank you Ecclesiastes for being the inspiration for a great song and also for giving words to the wonder, pain and joy of time. The fact that it can seem all together meaningless and also deeply worthwhile – sometimes within the same moment.
“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.” ~ Ecclesiastes 8:15
Living is painful business but it’s all the more reason to celebrate. Take stock, remember, repent, forgive, move on and enjoy the time in front of you. Put up silly decorations and add some pomp to the day. Eat, drink and celebrate.
There is rumbling downstairs and I can tell everyone is getting wrestless. It’s 5:03pm now and our friends will be arriving soon. Perhaps I’ll make everyone some hot chocolate. With whip cream. Because, why not? The rain hasn’t let up and the breeze is cold. Might as well accompany the toil with joy.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Decade!
hisgracemygrowth 