As uncomfortable as it may be, let’s talk about it.
There is a pop culture news story getting lots of attention, and I can’t seem to get away from it. I see it everywhere. And it makes me cringe. I’m not usually one to know all the juicy Hollywood gossip unless it comes across my path naturally. Mostly all that nonsense is silly and easy to ignore. But this story. Well it hurts my heart.
It is a complicated tale, so let me try to explain it. Sofia Vergara is a beautiful Colombian actress who is known for her humor and sexiness on the TV show Modern Family. Last year she was engaged to a millionaire named Nick Loeb. And they were in love so the two of them decided to plan for the future by giving her eggs and his sperm to the fertility clinic in order to create embryos. This probably seemed like a good idea at the time due to her age and their plans to be together forever.
But this is not how their love story would go. Sofia and Nick broke up. And quickly she found a new Hollywood heart-throb to shack up with. And just to make things extra complicated, those two are now engaged. So what should be done with the microscopic embryo’s Nick and Sofia created, now frozen in time?
They are currently fighting this battle with their lawyers.
Sofia would like for them to be destroyed because obviously she doesn’t want to have a child with her now ex-fiancee. Plus she has a new future with a new man to worry about. The problem is that Nick, the father to these kids, want them to be sparred. Really, if we are being honest, we can see how this is truly a pickle they are in. And both of them have a point.
I think it will come as no shock to anyone that I believe life begins at conception (even when that conception happens in a lab) and the rights of those tiny babies should be taken just as seriously as the rights of the woman’s body who will carry them. But here we have a new issue. It’s not really about Sofia having a right to what happens to her own body. Nick is not asking her to bear these kids physically. He just doesn’t want to have them destroyed, due to his (similar to mine) beliefs about life.
None-the-less Sofia has no desire to be a mother and she doesn’t want to waive her rights as mom, knowing Nick is raising her own child without her.
What a mess.
Now I really can’t imagine what it would be like to be in their position and I have no intention to treat this situation as though it can be easily handled. I mean it when I say, I understand both sides. It’s just that no matter how unfortunate the circumstance I just will never agree that destroying embryo’s is an ethical thing to do. Obviously I feel this way because I have specific scientific beliefs about conception. But even more than that, those frozen children have both a father and a mother. And because Sofia’s body is not in the equation, I believe the father has just as many rights to those kids as the mother. (Truth be told, I would say the same thing even if a woman’s body was in the equation also, but even more so in this case.)
She can’t simply make the decision just purely based on the fact that she is a woman. Men have rights to their own children too.
The painful fact is that these two people took a major risk when they entered that fertility lab. They took a chance on their family before they had made any vows to each other. These two brought children into the world, hoping it would work out. But it didn’t. They are like every other couple with children who break up. Only their kids happen to be waiting in a freezing volt somewhere.
Believe it or not there are other options. Albeit probably nothing they would be open to, but here is a suggestion anyway.
Did you know that people can adopt embryos? Yup, you can. And in today’s society where child-bearing can take new forms, this is important for people to know. Believe it or not, there are people in this world who love human life so much they are willing to carry a child to term and then raise that child as their own, even though they are not genetically related. It happens. And its an option.
Anyway, I don’t know how Sofia and Nick’s story will end. I have a guess. And I hope they do the right thing. But it’s just another reminder to us all, that it is a whole new world out there.
Lord give us wisdom!