I was walking up the stairs this morning with a rather large blanket and two big pillows in my arms. And as I was nearing the top I missed the last step up; which was probably due to the fact that the load I was carrying was so large my path was blinded. I was functioning on instinct alone. And my instinct obviously failed me.
You know what happened next. Gravity.
Splat; I fell. Except I landed atop the beautiful mess of blankets and pillows. They broke my fall so perfectly that as soon as I hit the floor, I was enveloped in comfort. So I stayed there. Sprawled on the floor. And if I had allowed myself I could have fallen asleep.
And that, my friends, probably means its time for a holiday.
At the beginning of January we were anticipating the year and all that it had for us. We were cautiously optimistic that things would be business-as-usual, with the exception of predictable bumps in the road.
And a couple of weeks ago that all changed. Now at the beginning of February, it will not be business-as-usual.
The details are not sure, so they will not be disclosed here. But all that needs to be known is we have been journeying along a path and that path that seemed clear took a sharp turn. Like that unseen last step, we have been levelled under all kinds of uncertainty and lack of control.
We have unraveled ourselves in this process of decision-making and planning. And it has been both painful and hopeful.
But now I feel like laying atop the mess.
I am liable to fall at any moment and juggling the mess is too hard.
All I want to do is finally release all our plans to the mighty and capable hands of God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure in my weakness I will want to rip them back out of his hands and try to carry it again. But as for now. Right now. At this moment. I want him to take it. And I want to just lay down and be comforted by knowing He’s got it.
He knows the end and He knew the beginning. He planned the path before our weary feet even began the journey. And that is reason enough to let Him carry this heavy load.
For now I will walk in faith and let the Lord establish our steps.
At least for now.