Isn’t that an upper for the morning!
My apologies this post has been on the tip of my tongue for years. And my husband wrote about it fantastically, which you can click here to read. But I just wanted to come at it from another angle.
“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” (Psalm 51:5)
As parents I think we all instinctively know that our kids like to disobey. We know it because we see it. We see our cute little toddler reach for the lamp just minutes after we scolded them not to. We see there little devilish grins as they sneak a cookie off of the counter after we just said no.
They have a bent toward disobedience. And I bet if I asked, most Christian parents would sign the bottom of a doctrinal paper that expressed that we are all born into sin and therefore sinners at birth, in agreeance.
“The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray from birth, speaking lies.” (Psalm 58:3)
So my question then is why are we so surprised when our kids sin? Why are we shocked when they get a little older and there sins get a little more…lets say…sophisticated? When it is no longer about markers on the wall, but more like blatant bold-faced lies, should we be taken aback?
I have seen with my own eyes a mothers unwillingness to believe her son was in the wrong when the evidence was glaringly not in the boys favor. She bought his obvious lie, because she just couldn’t believe he had the wrong-doing in him.
But he most certainly does have it in him. So do you. So do I.
I understand the temptation.
We want to think the best of our kids and we really don’t want to be embarrassed when they publicly sin in some way. I want to explain it away too.
It seems like a much better idea is to demonize and place blame on someone elses kid than to admit and then deal with my own child’s depravity. I get it. I struggle with it too.
And you see this happen with what my dear friend has labelled the “tattle tale parent”. This is the parent who feels the need to tell you every little minor and major wrong-doing your child displayed in your bathroom-break absence. This parent wants to be sure that you know how poor your child is in comparison to theres without out-right saying it. We like to keep a tally of other kids wrong-doings in order to make ourselves feel better about our kid.
Don’t get me wrong if my kid has harmed your kid and no facilitation of reconciliation on your part has taken place, then by all means let me know. And you better believe that if my kid is an aggressor in some kind of conflict with someone elses child, it will be dealt with and not explained away with excuses like, he had too much sugar or she missed her nap or it had to be an accident.
For this reason though, I try not to tattle tale on kids in my care unless a fire literally needed to be put out or if 911 needed to be called. I will facilitate appropriate apologies and then forget about it. Because I refuse to give a run-down to you of every normal child misdemeanor (unless you ask) without ever mentioning my kids also.
Are we prepared for the reality that as our kids get older, their sin will probably become more severe? They will probably do terrible things. I know this, because I did terrible things. And I still do them sometimes.
They will let us down. And frankly we should expect them too. As much as we want to believe our children are little angels and quite frankly, much better than your kid. It’s just not true.
Mommy-dearest I know your heart is to see your child grow up unblemished by the ferocious temptations of this world. I desire that too. And so we should pray. But we pray knowing that consequences for sin is a way in which the Lord sharpens us and makes us more like Him.
So lets not be so startled when our kids do horrible things and look at it as an oppurtunity to show them the grace of Christ over and over and over again.