I remember when my son was born. Chris and I were wrapped up in all of the new parent jitter’s that plague us all. Is he still breathing? I would wonder if he seemed too quiet. Putting his little 3 week old body in a huge crib at bed time was a crisis for my nerves. What if he struggles and the baby monitor doesn’t pick it up? What about SIDS?
And then one night when my husband and I lay our heads on our pillow’s feeling anxious about our child we were responsible to protect, my husband said something genius. He quoted scripture. He said, In peace I will lie down and sleep for you alone oh Lord will keep me safe.
Faith over fear.
In that moment my soul sighed with relief. We prayed for God to protect our boy, and then we entrusted Ben’s life into the hands of God. He is a good God, and He will do what is right and just.
We find ourselves in similar but very different circumstances now. Last night was our first night in our new home. We have been long awaiting this journey. And as move-in day arrived, it was quickly taken over by sickness and our first night wasn’t exactly idyllic. Lucy struggled to sleep in her new room and we have inched our way to normalcy.
Any romantic idea’s I had about joy and excitement, playing and exploring were squished by survival mode.
The pessimist in me begins to speak and think.
What if this was a bad idea? If this was the right decision it would be easy. Right? What if Lucy never gets used to her room?
Fear takes over.
It clutch’s me and makes me feel helpless in its grip.
And I have a choice. Faith or fear. It is the same God that I trusted my son’s life with who I could trust with my daughters well-being also. He is the same then as He is now. Still good. Still right. Still just.
And although these fears seem trivial in comparison to the woes of this world, they still infect the spirit, and test my already weak faith. Even in the little things we must recognise the ways Satan can snare us and tear down our spirit. And we have a choice in those moments. Fear or faith. In this moment I choose faith and I’ll leave the moments to come to God.
Today I will walk with this Scripture as my guide.
“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path … Revive me, O Lord, according your Word.” ~ Psalm 119:105, 107b