It is strange when life turns a corner, especially when you have been waiting a long time for that final bend in the road to come and go. It is easier on the other side. At least for a little while. That is where I am.
After a two-week back and forth between the bank, the mortgage broker, the realtor, CMHC and the forming of what felt like a severe ulcer, we have finally settled a deal and have bought a new home. It is a relief. Actually relief doesn’t really cut it. We can actually breathe again.
We are blissfully breathing in and out and enjoying the thoughts of a new beginning. It is nice on this side.
Now we are beginning the wonderful task of boxing up our little life. I even do it with a grin. Until I am hit with the ghostly memories that present themselves in every cranny of this place. My home is here. Right here where I sit. I know that because as I look up from my screen I see the couch that I shed many tears crying to God to provide Chris and I with a child.
I see the hallway I stood in trembling with disbelief as Chris asked me, “Is it positive?” There we hugged forever in fear that breaking our grip would make that beautiful positive sign we had been waiting for disappear.
The wall ahead of me doesn’t just bare a shelf and pictures, it also once bared the weight of a laboring woman as she paced the house, then leaned up against it during each contraction. That woman being me of course.
These floors have had the privilege of witnessing the first steps of my sweet ones. They have felt every fall and held up every wrestling match.
Songs and cries and laughs have wrung out through out this place. Sentimentality wraps itself around me. It could quickly become a strangle if I let it. But every moment that passes is an opportunity to joyfully remember and let go as we move forward toward more life experiences, good and bad.
Every box packed is a slow goodbye to a place we have called home. This month will be exciting and nostalgic. But both will present a chance to recognize Gods faithfulness and see His good hand of providence.
A new home waits for us, begging us to fill it with moments and memories.
A new home awaits.