The other night my husband asked me one of my least favorite questions to answer. I don’t blame him for asking it. He takes seriously his role to be spiritual leader of the home. And I don’t know if there is even a better way of phrasing the question. But none-the-less I was required to put into words my response.
The question was, “So, hun how is your relationship with the Lord these days?”
I sat there as my brain provided me with what felt like a mini stroke, and then clumsily responded, “ummm joyfully complicated.”
That was the best answer I could come up with. But I think that might be the way I always think of my relationship with Christ. Some people describe their walk with the Lord in nothing but grandiose, glowing terms. And maybe it is the fact that my glass is perpetually half empty, but I can’t speak in such overly optimistic language, just because I am constantly creating distance in our relationship. With that said, there are plenty of ways that my walk with the Lord is absolutely joyous. So many ways I enjoy Him. But it will forever be messy and complicated as I walk this journey of sanctification.
I decided a little while ago that I wouldn’t rate my relationship with the Lord by way of simple Bible reading and prayer. Those things are surely evidences of God’s activity in my life. But I don’t want to create rules where rules don’t exist. Truth be told, there isn’t some magic number of Bible pages read and studied and hours spent praying that makes someone spiritually superior.
And yet, we tend to think that way. We think if we only read our Bible more like hyper-spiritual theologians, and prayed for two hours instead of one a day we would reach some level of godliness. But that’s a pharisiacal assumption, isn’t it?
For me the answer to working out my faith in Christ is not legalism. I never want my relationship with Him to amount to checking Prayed today off of a list that also has Cleaned bath tub listed as well.
Do not misunderstand me, I love reading the Word, and I love my times of prayer with the Lord. And I am not going to stop finding time for these things in my day.
But my goal is to acknowledge Him and His presence as I walk through the day. My goal is to be worshipful in all my actions. When the kids and I sing “Come thou fount” at the lunch table. When I cook and clean. When a tantrum gets out of hand. When Discipline is necessary. When we wrestle and play. Worship all the time.
This is my goal.
The question that my husband asked me turned into a very revealing conversation where I had to put into words my desire for my walk with the Lord. And even when I fought to express what I felt to be too muddled to explain, my least favorite question helped me.
Which is yet another reason to be thankful for my husband!