Strife In The Bookends Of Life…

I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t include personal information about extended family in this blog. But My heart is heavy with family news. And so here goes me breaking that promise.

Today I learned that due to my grandma’s worsening dementia and my grandpa’s inability to take care of her, the powers-that-be have decided they need to live apart. My grandpa cannot move with her for reason’s that I wont discuss here. But this has naturally left him confused and scared. And when the move takes place, I imagine there will be an agonizing scene of utter heartbreak. My grandparents marriage has been less than perfect, but it is all they have ever known. They have never been apart. This is devastating news.

Why does God allow these awful life situation’s to occur at such a time in their lives? A time were there is so little understanding. A time that should be spent enjoying each other in eager anticipation of meeting their King.

The twilight of my grandparents lives will be spent in difficulty and disappointment. I know God’s grace abounds for them. I know He is there. But I don’t understand.

And then there are some who are born immediately into a battle that they too, have no ability to comprehend. Like a little boy named Jaxson, who was born at 1 pound. And for the last 3 months of his short and painful life he has been in the thick of what one can only describe as a tormented pursuit to live. This little boy has almost lost this fight more times than we can count, but he is still here, laboring everyday. His parents suffer a long side of him as they watch their precious first-born strain to do the little normal things we take for granted. Yesterday he lost his hand, it just literally fell off.

How does God allow these things to happen? It seems like He is doing nothing to make things easier on those who suffer in unimaginable ways.

But then my heart preach’s to my “rational” intellect and reminds me of the God I serve. The Lord remind’s me of how He holds all things in His hands.  And how He is in control of what seems like chaos. “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10. He holds my grandma and grandpa when they are confused and scared. And in time, He will relieve them of their suffering and take them up to glory.

“The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the LORD has made them both.” Proverbs 20:12. He designed and willed for Jaxson to be born the way he did. And I trust God is comforting his soul in the midst of his pain. And if the Lord will’s, He might take Jaxson up to glory, and relieve him of this battle.

I don’t understand why God does what He does. But I know in the end He will do what is right. He always does what is right.

There lies the only hope I have…


About hisgracemygrowth

I am a wife and full-time mom of a boy and girl who are 13 months a part. I am a Christ-following woman who is striving to honor God in all my endeavours! I stumble often....but His Grace is sufficient!
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