Over 2 years ago I would have described myself as being somewhat strong and not prone to blubbering during a hallmark card commercial. Sure, I am a girl, which mean I have always had my moments of tears and outbursts during movies. But I was never “that girl”. The one who is relentless in her emotions toward anything even remotely touching.
That wasn’t me.
That was then.
Now I have to say that after having kids I have become “that girl”. Sometimes I feel out of control with my emotions. I’m a sap. Just like that.
Movies, commercials, songs, the news, youtube videos, blogs, books…. you name it!
If it is the slightest bit moving, no matter how cheesy the content……I am probably going to cry. Or at least tear up and fight the overwhelming desire to have a meltdown. Which means from here on out I will always need tissue in my purse, because everywhere I go I am at risk.
On one occasion Chris was talking about some grandiose topic (probably theological in nature) in the car while we were driving somewhere. A song came on the radio that I had never heard before (it was Sanctus Real, Lead me), and while he was in mid-rant he looked over at me to see a puddle of Jessica trying to keep the floodgates closed, and losing the battle. I had been listening to the words of the song and silently weeping. He was shocked and quickly went into “what did I do?”….”must fix it” mode.
I did the same thing with another song about Abraham and Isaac, that I had heard before and thought was kinda cheesy. That was before I gave birth to a son.
Chris is still getting used to the new increasingly sensitive me. And I guess, so am I.
But I have to say that as embarrassing as it sometimes may be…my eyes have been opened to the capacity of a parent’s heart. I love my kids. It’s a love that is unexplainable. And it has been unlocked by the ones I bore. And it’s not love just for my own children, but the children of this world. When I see a famine or disaster in the world…I’m not just seeing people suffering…I am seeing mothers and fathers suffering because they are watching their own children die. I am seeing it differently and my heart aches for them.
In the same way I get a very small taste of what God Himself experiences when He watches His children suffers. When He watched His only Son suffer.
Our Father loves us with perfect parental love.
Call me a sap…but I can’t think of a better kind of love than that.
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” John 3:1a
Picture Credit: All Pictures taken by either myself or my sister