There Is No Such Thing As An Unlikely Convert…

How does a secular, Unitarian universalist, feminist, lesbian become a stay-at-home, homeschooling, domesticated, pastor’s wife and mother?

This is the story of Rosaria Champagne Butterfield and a relentless God. Her book is entitled The Secret Thoughts Of An Unlikely Convert and it is written by hers truly. I just finished reading it and wow…what a story. What a life. And what a God.

To say she is an astute intellectual is an understatement. She is a thinking lady, who has spent her life learning. And as you may assume she would have never thought her life would end up the way it has. Rosaria is a picture of how God is unpredictable.

Here is a brief overview:

We start the book when Rosaria is in her 30′s as a tenured English professor at Syracuse University in a relationship with a live-in girlfriend. As a lesbian she is a popular gay-activist and queer theory scholar. She is an out-spoken pro-choice, post-modern defending, vegetarian who most Christian’s wouldn’t dare engage (to our shame). And if it wasn’t for an article she wrote where she criticized the Promise Keepers, she would have never come in contact with a gracious and hospitable Reformed Presbyterian Pastor. He wrote in a response to her article to simply ask questions about her arguments. Questions that made her think and a tone that she couldn’t ignore. There meetings would result in a friendship where she never felt like his “project”. His example is beyond impressive.

And it is because of this long friendship and there on-going conversation about Christ and the gospel that she was converted to Christianity.

As she says her conversion was a “train wreck” as it undid everything she knew to be right and true. And she speaks on how there was no way she could believe anything other than that God chooses. Her story speaks to the theology of God’s sovereignty in a real way. She knows first hand what it feels like to be blind-sided by the gospel and how she was never the one reaching out for Christ.

Rosaria display’s true faith in how she fights through her sin and she is honest about how her journey was a messy struggle. She never once speaks of the LGTB community in a condescending or mean-spirited way, but only with grace. It was there that she learned hospitality, which is something she continues in her Christians walk with fervor.

I love her heart for foster parenting and adoption and her musings on these subjects blew air on the already fiery coals of my heart. She is the embodiment of super woman, as she supports her husband, mothers her kids and opens her home to just about anybody. She tells a story that made me cheer as I read it.

“One time Kent was filling the pulpit at a small church in a small town. Theses places scare me, and for good reason. Knox was asleep on my shoulder and Mary was asleep in the car seat. A man walked up to me, not knowing that I was the preacher’s wife, and said: “So, is it chic for white women to adopt black kids these days?” I took a deep breath and stood up to meet his gaze. “Are you a Christian?” I asked him. “Yes, ma’am,” he replied. “Did God save you because it was chic.” We locked eyes until he dropped his head. He stammered something unintelligible and backed away slowly, seeming to understand that even when the bear does not look like the cubs, the trauma of having one’s head ripped off by a protective mama can be bloody business. “

What I love most about this book is how Rosaria is an example of a woman who did not have to retire her brain in order to convert to Christianity. Although I do not agree with all the theology she has acquired through the Reformed Presbyterian denomination, I am so impressed with her ability to remain a woman of knowledge and still understand her scriptural duty to submit to her husband. She keeps learning and yet she can still be a stay-at-home mom and joyfully impart wisdom to her little ones because they are not less-than university students.

It is true that there really is no such thing as an unlikely convert. In fact the next Charles Spurgeon might be pushing a needle up his arm for a buzz at this very moment. Or he could be donning a pink leotard at the front of the gay-pride parade.

But it should be our pleasure to welcome those who we secretly believe are “beyond grace” with hospitality and love. Because it is not us who chooses the saints, it is Christ. And for that we should rejoice.

Disappointment – A Window To Sin…

Is disappointment sin?

I have been asking myself this question for the last few days and have even repented of my disappointment just in case. I’ve been searching scriptures and as far as I have read, there is nothing that out-right condemns being disappointed (if I am missing something, please let me know – my searching is not infallible). So why do I feel guilty about it?

I have a theory.

Disappointment can reveal deeper rooted sin. Discouragement is not wrong or bad, but it has a way of opening a window to reveal something else under the surface.

This is really fresh for me, because I am at this very moment experiencing the disappointments of life. Please do not worry about me, no one is dying or ill, it is just run-of-the-mill life struggles – and I am not seeking out pity or attention. I am simply dissecting this tornado inside of myself in the hopes that it can shed some light.

I am willing to admit that the storm is being formed not from my circumstances (although the circumstances have pulled them to the surface), but from the sin that has been lying dormant for sometime.

Here is my issue.

I feel like who I am should be better than who I really am by now. Does that make sense? I have been a Christian for a while now, and I feel like I shouldn’t struggle with covetousness, envy and entitlement anymore. That is a child’s game. And I’m too old for it.

But here I am, an ugly green monster, seething with this terrible sin like an immature baby.

I want something. I want it bad. And I am jealous of the people around me who have something similar to it, and I wont be happy until I get it.

How unbecoming.

My disappointment sprang up because I thought I was going to get something (material), only to have it removed from my sites. Which sadly shows me just where my joy comes from. The fruit of this ugly tree is rotten with satisfaction in all the wrong things.

It has been a lot harder than I thought trying to root out this sin. And I don’t think it is something I am done doing.

Although I know my journey on this earth will be far from sinless, I desire to embody somebody whose thankfulness in all circumstances shape every mountain top and valley no, matter what the size. And it is humbling…or should I say humiliating to realize just how far I still have to go.

But I will go none the less.

“God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him”. ~ John Piper

Let Me Direct You Elsewhere…

It is Mother’s Day today and I wish all you hard-working mamma’s a great day! And for all those ladies out there that feel pain of various kinds because of this day, I pray God’s grace and mercy on you. Here are just a few articles on the subject of motherhood! But let me begin with a quote.

I am sure that, in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother; neither can I conceive that, to any child, there can be one who will have such influence over the heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring. . . .

Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. Certainly I have not the powers of speech with which to set forth my valuation of the choice blessing which the Lord bestowed on me in making me the son of one who prayed for me, and prayed with me.

Charles Spurgeon

A Real House Tour: This is a cute and true post about the realities of housekeeping with small children.

On Mother’s Day Remember The Infertile: As someone who experienced this horror for a short time, I hope awareness like this will continue.

The Struggle To Trust God With My Child’s Salvation: I struggle with this constantly. But this a great reminder!

Just To Help You Understand Us: I wrote this last month, and I thought I would share it again.

The Gift Of Reading: Here is a sweet commercial for all the mama’s.

 

Build Your Kingdom – Rend Collective Experiment: This has nothing to do with Mother’s Day, but that’s okay cause its a good song and that’s all that matters.

God’s Lordship And Silverlinings…

Recently I read The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick and I have to admit that I read the book because of the success of the movie, (although I hadn’t seen the movie at the time). But after finishing the book I hummed and hawed over whether or not I should watch the movie. I mean, we all know that books are superior, but after a while I decided what the hey, and I let my curiosity win.

The book was better. Shocker.

The movie was good, and was able to put flesh on the complicated roles of the story. And I will admit that Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence did a fantastic job of catching the essence of two deeply abstruse characters. But the story-line deviation’s from the book were so strong that it actually felt like a pretty different version (especially the end).

And it is for that reason that today’s thoughts will be written from my experience with the book and not the movie.

Much like Holden Caulfield in the Catcher In The Rye, we see the world through Pat Peoples perspective. But because he is mentally unstable the reader is constantly wondering what parts of Pat’s viewpoint is reality and what parts are his own hopefulness or delusion. He is likable and from the beginning you are rooting for him to get better.

Here is a brief overview of the book without spoiling too much.

Pat gets out of a mental health institution and moves in with his parents. He had a substantial out-burst that put him in the institute and slowly throughout the book he remembers what had happened. His whole goal after leaving the institute is to get in shape by running and exercising endlessly, become intelligent by reading famous novels and to try to be a better person by doing nice things for other people. But his only real reason for doing any of this is to win his estranged wife back. And this becomes his obsession.

In fact obsession seems to be a prevailing theme in the book. At least that’s what I saw. Although the author was shedding light on the complexities of mental illness in the characters of Pat and Tiffany, it seems all the characters have a form of mental instability. Tiffany has her own issue’s - one being a history of random sex after a life-altering tragedy. But after meeting Pat, he becomes her new obsession. Pat’s dad is an Eagles fan in the most OCD laden way possible. The football team is his entire life and no doubt an idol like no other. Pat’s mom seems to have her life wrapped up in the happiness of her family and wants nothing more than to have everything be perfect. Pats best friend Ronnie is slowly and silently dying inside as his domesticated life and controlling wife suck his soul.

This is a just a few examples in which the book describes many forms of deluded fixations and mental illness.

But it is how Pat views God that makes his story so intriguing for me. He is constantly having conversations with God about his desire to win his wife back (a noble goal) and think more positive and see the silver-lining in every situation. Silver-linings are what keep Pat going. He looks for them everywhere. He pleads with God to get his wife back constantly throughout the book and he wants his old life back desperately.

But he is tirelessly trying to earn it. He wants God’s favor, however he really believes he must make God proud before God will ever give him the desires of his heart.

I believe this is a common cultural idea of God. Even among Christians. If we just work a little harder, do nice things and think more positive we will somehow make ourselves clean enough to win God’s ear. But it isn’t really God we want.

See Pat’s character believes that what would ultimately make him happy and whole would be to have his wife back. His wife is his idol. God is just a means to a desirable end. And I think that is generally how we treat Him. Oh Lord, I want this, please make it so that I can get it. I will try to do better to make you happy.

But God wants us to want Him. Full stop.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart”. ~ Psalm 37:4

We love this verse, because we think it gets us what we want. But in order to get it, we must delight ourselves in the giver first. See God was never Lord over Pat (and I know he is fictional, but its an example – relax). In the same way that He is probably not often Lord over us. He is a butler that has the power to get us things, but just as long as we pay him enough with our do-goodery. And that’s the way we’d like to keep Him because it is convenient.

However all He asks is that we want Him and Him alone. Put aside the idols that fill our hearts affection and put them in the Creator of all good things. Because the work is done in the person of Christ and our measly actions will not earn us anything.

Christ has already made the payment. That part is done. And it is for that reason we  should delight in the Father in whom all things were made and all redemption is found.

Pat is the perfect example of a self-help generation trying to get better all in his own might. And it is an exhausting and fruitless game.

May we not delight in gifts more than the giver.

May we desire the things of God above material blessings.

May we give glory to God, and enjoy HIM forever.

Life In Pictures…

Here is a life update for the many of you out there waiting on pins and needles for these exciting life posts. *sarcasm

Pictures are fun so I figured I would let them do the talking. But I’ll also talk a little just to give some context. Recently I painted my moms old buffet and I hope and plan on using it when we move. I’m happy with the finished product!

It is spring time which means we have had both ugly and beautiful weather. On the ugly days that daddy has off we have tried to get out and do fun stuff like hang out at this awesome place.

On all the other regular days we just try to have fun in doors.

Sometimes its all fun and games…other times it is none stop fighting. You know how it is. But lately the sun has been shining and we have been able to get some things done, like get our garage roof fixed.

And there is nothing better than corn on the cob on a beautiful day! Am I right?

And there has been many a chalk mural designed in or back yard.

We are getting more and more settled in our new church, and it is beginning to feel so much like home. And we absolutely can not wait until we are able to move closer to church, which will hopefully be within the next 2 months. However I am not looking forward to cleaning out our garage, because it looks like this…

But living in the same town as our church will be so wonderful. Chris even got the opportunity to preach this past weekend and he did a great job!

He was telling a story about our daughter breaking a huge mug in this pic. It was good.

So this is our life lately, we feel so blessed and there are many good things on the horizon that we are so excited about. And this morning was spent blowing the little seeds off dandilions to watch them fly.

It has been a good day!

Let Me Direct You Elsewhere…

Well its a short one this week. My main man is preaching this morning, so I am doing this while scarfing down some cereal and anticipating the chaos of rounding up the troops. So here is just a few links for the viewing!

Desire And Submission: This is a good one for all the wives out there. I related, and was convicted but also encouraged.

Adoption: A Real Question Many Have: As someone who has been thinking and praying through the idea of adoption, this was a helpful little post for me. Maybe it will be for you to.

Lennon And Maisy: I know this is an old video, but wow these girls are pretty amazing.

Oprah And Why “Context” Isn’t Just A Throw Away Term…

Here we go again, another Christian attacking Oprah. Is that what your thinking? I hope not. This is not a post about how I think Oprah is the anti-Christ or something ridiculous like that.

This is however a post about the necessity of discernment in the church. Oprah is just one of many voices in our culture preaching a message to the masses. And the masses are lapping it up heartily. The reason being that they get everything they want and desire out of this message.

Do me a favor and watch this short video, and then read on.

 

Oprah seems like a delightful person. I imagine she would be someone who would be able to offer a wealth of wisdom from all her experience. And as she says, she spent her growing years listening very carefully at church and heard Bible stories, and loved them. Her video was even a mini sermon about faith from the words of Jesus.

Oddly enough I stumbled upon this video by accident on the heals of my own pastor preaching on this very same text in scripture. I suppose it wasn’t an accident at all, because Oprah’s message about a mustard seed size faith was much different from my seminary trained pastor.

And I think I can guess why.

As we all know Oprah drank the culture’s Coolaid a long time ago. It was a while ago that she began picking out the parts of scripture she liked and discarding the rest. Then she filled in the spaces with other religious and secular doctrines, such as karma, positive thinking getting you what you want and all roads lead to heaven. Now she might as well be the leader of the Unitarian Universalist church (if that existed). Her wisdom has become a convoluted mess.

But there is nothing shocking about this, as her philosophy is a common one.

So here is my problem. I just shutter when I hear the Word of God being used to teach a doctrine about life and faith that is absolutely counter to the message of Scripture and Jesus Himself.

I have heard Oprah speak of Jesus in very loving terms. And yet when you read His words you see that He says some pretty strong things that fly completely in the face of her beliefs. He claimed to be God and more than that, He also claimed to be the Only way for any human to get to Heaven. How someone can see past this for their own warm and fuzzy feelings, is beyond me.

in Matthew 17:20 Jesus said, Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

Ripped from its context this scripture can be very self-serving. As Oprah said, if we just have enough faith in ourselves, we can do whatever we want! But this is why context is not just a throw away term Christians use to win arguments. You have to understand the entire conversation if you are going to build a philosophy around one sentence of it, right?

Prior to that verse, Jesus drove a demon out of a child, and the disciples asked him why they couldn’t perform such a miracle. And it was the subject of the disciples faith that was their problem. All they needed was a mustard seed size faith in Jesus Himself to do a good work like that. More faith in themselves would give them nothing. This was not a self-serving message. This was a message of good works being done by the power of Christ to the glory of God.

If your faith is put in your own ability for selfish desires you are missing the point.

I hope one day Oprah and so many others are truly confronted by the complete Word of God, and I believe it can happen.

But this is a lesson for Christians to use our discernment, and seek to know the Word in its context. It is so worth it to dig into the full counsel of God and lap up all of His wisdom.